Songs list

I used to write down the names of songs and moments from memories that had made me feel something, a particular emotion that I could draw on, if I needed that emotion for a performance.  I remember glancing over the list once before I began preparing for a monologue and that's all it took.  I realized that exercise hasn't worked in a long time.  The list doesn't bring out much.  I was confused and upset n how this had come to be.  Am I cold now?  Indifferent?  Does nothing go through anymore?

Two days ago I heard a song, and then at least 50 more times and each time the heart raced to match the beats in the song.  The same day I had to prepare a monologue for an audition.  With that piece of music lingering around my head, I realized how similar this was to what I used to do before.  Once again with the help of music my emotions became accessible to me, it's the songs that had changed... I needed a new list.