Playing the priest, Father Manders in Ibsen's Ghosts.

For the past month and a half, I've been rehearsing Henrik Ibsen's Ghosts in Hindi.  I cannot get enough of the fact that I have been speaking in Hindi on stage while in India.  Being able to do so makes me immensely proud.  I know there are challenges in the translation we are working with however, I am loving the immersion in my mother-tongue that I have stayed away from in day to day life for so long.  However, I want to take this time to reflect not on language but the performance and what I discovered during the rehearsal period and through feedback from my director.

From LTG Repertory Production of Ghosts by Henrik Ibsen directed by K S Rajendran Feb 27, 2020. Photo credit Gaurav Singh 

A common thread in the recent characters I have played on stage is that they are characters of folklore/mythology and the plays are mainly in the genre of musical. While I have been rehearsing Ibsen I did not realize that all of my expressions, gestures, and movements have been accentuated. My director noted: "You appear more affected than your scene partner by a line that should cause a stronger reaction in them."  At first, I thought this was the result of us moving into the auditorium from a smaller rehearsal space or that I was making a judgment that others were not expressing as much as we could in this large playing space. However, it was only after trying an opposite route in the last rehearsal that I realized that I had become too used to acting with big gestures and expressions in the last performances.  Nothing wrong with that, in fact, I love being in shows of that nature because they truly give me the freedom to practice the extent of my expressions.  All of this realization also did not come through too much thinking, it was very simple and actually a costume piece that brought in the transition. You see, I play Father Manders, the priest in Ibsen's Ghosts (we are doing it in Hindi YAY!). Father Manders is a man who is bound by a moral code that he also very subtly adjusts if needed.  He is all things patriarchal, there is an intense scene where he accuses Mrs. Alving of various sins and reprimands her for the choices she has made her entire life.  So, there are many opportunities to literally point fingers. I was taking all those chances and pointing fingers like there was no tomorrow and dancing all over the stage.  I was concerned that the director would say that I was not using my hands because this was the case with a few performers, so I guess I made sure I am letting it be known that I could.  However, in the last rehearsal, I finally got the cross that I wear as a Priest. 

with co-actor Jyotsna Singh (Mrs. Alving) in Ghosts by Henrik Ibsen directed by K S Rajendran Feb 27, 2020. Photo credit Gaurav Singh 

The moment I put on the cross around my neck, my temperament changed. I suddenly felt this weight of religion, of my occupation as someone who holds a great responsibility.  I felt the pressure of a moral code embedded by society and the church. I felt this all immediately and throughout while I had it on me.  All the running around stage started to contain itself in a seat I took and stayed still till I absolutely needed to make a point.  The harsh looks to the scene partner as they admitted to sins changed into a heavy sigh and understanding the consequences of the actions.  I have to admit there was a calm that came with it. Even in scenes where the priest is afraid and is being scammed, my reactions adjusted because I kept thinking of my position. How will society look at me? How I must uphold my status started to take root in my physical actions. I think now I am beginning to scratch the surface of why Ibsen has written Father Manders in this way.  

My director, KS Rajendran later also added an important point as I shared this realization with him. He said, accentuating the gestures and expressions as a woman was further revealing my own femininity which is the opposite of what I was trying to accomplish in this part. This observation has made me look back at all times I have played any character and how the accentuating helped or worked against my portrayal.

If you are in New Delhi Wednesday, Feb 26, do come. Feb 27 another cast performs and I will be there then as well assisting as a part of repertory member. 

Click here to read an online program/brochure for our play with all casts and credits 

(More on why do I end up getting cast to play male parts so often... coming later .... not complaining at all, I enjoy it. I wonder if it is because of my loud voice, whatever it is, playing male characters has also to some extent helped in understanding the female gender.)